Ignoring the fact that it has induced random bouts of crying, over-sleeping, depression and erm -- green poo -- I have to give Champix credit where it's due for cutting down my habit of 20 fags a day to around 6 or 7. But wait, that's not the end of it.

For those not in the know Champix has a unique way of putting the breaks on this filthy habit. It makes your brain nicotene receptors happy without feeding them nicotene (plus point), it gradually increases in dosage, insisting that you carry on smoking for a bit, allowing you to slowly turn your legs together for a lovely steady stop on the ice, instead of insisting you dig your blades in making it more likely you'll stumble, trip, hurt yourself, feel like a fool, leaving the ice-rink and needing another fag.
Finally, it trains your brain. You're smoking, but you're no longer getting the rush to your head - smoking becomes pointless.

The doses are as follows:

Days 1 - 4: 0.5mg
Days 5 - 7: 1mg
Day 8 onwards: 2mg

Your quit date should be between day 8 and 14.
I've opted for day 8.
It's the early hours of day 8, just before I go to bed. I'm having my last fag now.

Ignoring the hundreds of complaints governing medical bodies have received about this drug (known as Chantix in the states) and the accusations of increased suicidal behaviour amongst users - ignoring all that - it's bloody good.

Wish me luck!

Here are my top 5 totty-men of TV's b-list for 2007:


5. Adrian Lewis Morgan.

Jimmy Clay in the under-rated BBC lunch time soap, Doctors. Wholly underated and often looked over for the big storylines (old ladies over-dosing, HRT, etc), Jimmy seems to have a permanent wince – but this doesn’t stop me from wanting to, erm.. some sort of general practice medical euphemism, I dunno. Jimmi suffers from claustrophobia and OCD. Probably not hung, but, meh.

4. Dominic Littlewood.

Perhaps a little gay and certainly not conventionally handsome, Dom is cocky but not quite hubristic though cheeky enough to bend you to his every whim. For those of you interested in a day-time leather-daddy, this could be your man. Potentially hung.

3. Kristian Digby. Often paired up with Dominic Littlewood on To Buy or Not To Buy creating the sexiest femme/butch relationship since ITV’s The Jules and Lulu Show. Gangly, tall and seemingly intelligent. The downside is: he shaves his chest. And his voice is awful. And his mannerisms.

2. Dan Penteado.

The one on the motorbike in Rogue Traders that doesn’t really seem to do anything. Imaginatively referred to as “Dan the Man” by the unattractive one (Matthew, something or other), his sole purpose seems to be looking pretty, and providing a motorbike. Likes dressing up in wigs to “confuse cowboy plumbers”, yeah. Excellent.

1. Gethin Jones.

Hot totty from Wales, and they’re usually well hung – this being undeniable as in many cases he seems to be in just his pants or tight little shorts whether necessary or not. And his blog is marvellous:

Thank you for all the nice messages you wrote to my Auntie Jean. She doesn’t understand computers so I’ve printed your messages out and sent them on to her. She made me some Welsh cakes to bring into the office for all my friends

Tall, slightly built, but incredibly dim – a winning combination in my eyes!

I wonder if he’s gay? CLUE: Pictured here with Scooch:





Who are your top 5?

Labels: b list, gay, gethin, scooch, totty, TV

As a 25 year old gay male, perhaps Menopause: The Musical, wasn't the kind of theatrical event I'd most enjoy. The audience was 95% female with 50%+ being 50+, so really never before has a musical made me feel so misplaced... (aside from Daddy Cool). Now, don't get me wrong, I liked the 70s pop hit cover versions of songs twisted to the subjects of dragging, dripping, HRT and hot flushes, but they were enjoyed with a certain comfortablenesses as, bluntly, I'm never going to experience the change. I hope. So the main attraction for me was seeing Su Pollard, who is just utterly, utterly watchable.



And this is why I insisted we stay for an autograph. Just a quick one. An "excuse me, sorry, but could we have your autograph please?". Just a little scribble on a picture we''d printed out.

I didn't get an autograph. I got a paragraph.

For forty-five minutes Su entertained myself, Amy and Kieran, rambling on about anything and everything from her recent trip to America to shopping on Carnaby Street. She pulled on my piercing, admired Amy's shoes and turned around to the bar, proclaiming loudly, to everyone, that we were the "THREE MUSTY QUEERS" - just make sure every had heard this she repeated it. Three times.

Unstoppable. Eccentric. Embarrassingly lovable. And loud. Very, very loud. She told us where she lived, we spoke about the Royal Vauxhall Tavern, she chatted about stealing flat caps and her Rear Of The Year award, and we were introduced to her friends - though, in all fairness, they could have been passers-by, as she puts in a lot of effort into being social - a thought echoed by the barman whilst we were waiting who said: "no, she's not here yet which is odd, as Su's usually first to the bar". Quite.

She was a real delight to meet. More charisma in her glasses than Nicola has in her entire body.


The signed photo of Su in her Hi-De-Hi days is to go on the pub's main wall, in between Mink Stole and Peter Sutcliffe. She'll keep them in check.

It says:

"with much luv to everyone at the vauxhall griffin - can't wait to visit. much luv from Maplins & Peggy & Su Pollard, too x"

When acquaintances say "I'll pop in soon" you tend to take it with a pinch of salt. With Su, I feel it's a very real danger.

Labels: indiscretion, menopause, su pollard

Well, the edges need touching up a bit, but I don't think it's too shabby an attempt! Certainly a lot nicer than the turquoise mosaic it covers. Later in the week I'll add Mario and perhaps the odd Space Invader or two, round the corner. All on display, at the pub, The Vauxhall Griffin.


Shame it might be covered up by a board in 4 week's time. Meh.

What do you reckon? Too tatty? Should it be glossed over? Or do you think the shabbiness just emphasizes my love of retro arcade action over a lack of any actual artistic talent?

You, dear sir... you decide.

Labels: arcade games, pacman, painting, pixels, retro, Vauxhall Griffin, video games

I made this up for DJ MetalChick and her Rocktronica night. Loosely based Irish pop music quiz. The prize on offer tonight is a lovely bottle of wine - oooh. Rose I believe.


I'll post the answers on Monday.

Labels: ireland, pop, quiz

Labels: amazing, beth, jarvis, music

After the RSPCA failed to reach him, help was sought from two council wardens who tied a number of hamster ladders and Curly Wurly bars together...

..this is only the third funniest line in my favourite news story of the week: Link.

Labels: hamsters, news, RSPCA